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Williams  -  wrecks e

by Carmen Williams

I have memories that hunt me to this day. Memories that seem like they will never go away.
It’s hard to forget it’s hard to let go, the thought of Uncle Robert fondling with me on the floor.
I was about three years old when I was called to the closet. Get in, shut up, and don’t swallow it.
Between three and five when I seen his wrinkled body, moving up and down on me; saying don’t tell nobody.
My eyes water up and I want to cry when I think of their voice saying “snitch and you’ll die.”
You’re so pretty, you look just like your mamma. “Uncle Moe” I yelled with his hands up my pajamas.
I’m only ten years old why would he do this?
Of course this thought came after “come give your uncle a kiss.”
It was a kiss in the mouth with his tongue down my throat. This nasty mother… I hope he croaks.
Violated, betrayed as a little girl. Threaten that if I told I would have to leave this world.
When will it stop when will it end? Not before my mommas friend Raymond put his fingers in.
Yeah inside of me, while her child was asleep. I screamed and yelled and he got his….. Beat.

I was fourteen and he was thirty three. Child molestation, but he loved me.
There were clothes, money, jewelry and weed. We kept it a secret until he made me bleed.

I have many memories that hunt me to this day. Memories that seem like they will never go away.
Like the time I sat in the doctor’s office and he said, you have an STD.
And it will never go away, it’s called…. Herpes.
Or the time I took the knife and tried to slice my arm, or the day I tried to swallow pills, wishing I was never born.
Running to my mother; looking for comfort. It was she that spread my business and put me through torture.
You aint gone never be nothing, my grandmother said. Strung-out on dope, in jail or dead.
Why me, why me? I cried out to God.
I received no answer; I believed I was robbed.
Robbed of my innocence, family, childhood and dreams. I didn’t know who God was or what to believe.
They said that Jesus died for little girls like me and that if I called on his name he would set me free.
But what did I do to deserve this life? So I didn’t believe in him and I put up a fight.
But at the age of twenty five God called my name. He said come out of that world and stop playing its game.
He said my child, my child I have something more for you.
He showed me what it was and I believed that it was true.
I said if you will save me tonight from this world of sin, I will change my ways and prove that you live.
Since that day my life has never been the same, He’s taken the thorn out of my flesh and relieved me from my pain.


Carmen Williams © 2009 with permission

Dear Magnolia
by wrecks e.

When the rains come,
Show me your blossom smile
And let winds whisper love songs
Between cracks of light
As your verdant teeth chatter in the chill.
As your arms get strong enough,
Let me grip tightly to them,
Swing gently from them,
And hammock comfortably
In your grand canopy.
Lastly, and if all possible,
Please shade me from the fireball,
And always allow your roots
To be a better metaphor.

wrecks e. © 2011 with permission

Counteracting Oppression
by wrecks e.

i had eavesdropped on the rains
as they drummed their pitter-patter tonight.
a heavy truth fell from the cascading:
winter reigned far too long,
being the reason for the sobbing of sky.
i hope these tears will sway the earth
into revolution once more
for i had planted ideas in soil.
if they grow, spring will spring and not fall.

wrecks e. © 2011 with permission



© copyright 2008 - Last Updated: 09/19/2021